Coming Out of the Closet
by lise
Summary: Draco and Harry make the decision to come out into the open about their relationship...and ridiculous situations abound. ^^ *SLASH! Draco/Harry*
1. The Decision

  
  
  


Coming Out of the Closet   
by lorien

  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. 

Warnings: Draco/Harry slash, humour   
  
  
  
  


Chapter 1: The Decision   
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #1**

Harry: Draco, I think it's time we came out of the closet. 

Draco: ?? Okay. [opens closet door and peers out] 

Snape: [has come to take dried lizard tails out of his supply closet] [hand is already halfway to the closet door] AAAAHHHHH!!!! 

**[thud]**

Draco: Um, oops? [hastily closes closet door] Harry, you got any smelling salts? 

Harry: What was that? 

Draco: I think Snape fainted. 

Harry: SNAPE?!? 

Draco: Well, duh. We _*are*_ making out in his supply closet. 

Harry: [groans] Now I know why I'm failing Potions. 

Draco: Well, *you're* the one who told me to come out of the closet just when he was about to open the door, you know. 

Harry: Would you rather he walked in on us? 

Draco: [ponders] That'd have done absolute wonders for your Potions grade, it would. 

Harry: Anyway, that's not what I meant! 

Draco: Hmm? 

Harry: About coming out of the closet, you git. I meant that figuratively. 

Draco: Oh. Whatever. So who do you want to tell first? 

Harry: [thinks about Ron and Hermione's possible reactions and winces] Uh… 

Draco: Oh, Weasley's just gonna *love* this one. [smirks] 

Harry: Shut up and get out of here. [shoves Draco] 

Draco: Okay, okay, quit pushing. [opens closet door and walks out] 

Harry: [follows Draco] 

Draco & Harry: [trip over Snape's unconscious body]   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #2**

Harry: Draco, I think it's time we came out of the closet. 

Draco: [blinks] Er, okay. [drawls] Whatever you say, darlin'. 

McGonagall: [enters room, muttering to self: 'Now, where are Malfoy and Potter…they're late for the Sorting Ceremony *again*…probably off fighting somewhere…should I send someone to look for them? Not Weasley…he'll probably kill Malfoy himself…hmm…maybe Finnegan or Thomas?…anyway…hey, where'd I leave my wand…?'] [looks around room for her wand] 

Harry: [picks up something from bottom of closet] Hmm, this looks like Professor McGonagall's wand. 

Draco: [peers at wand] Yeah, it does. [opens closet door and deposits wand in McGonagall's hands] Here, your wand. [closes closet door] 

McGonagall: [blinks and mutters to self: 'Did I just see Malfoy pop out of my closet?'] [shakes head and rubs eyes] [mutters to self: 'I must be working too hard. Should ask Albus for time off…like say, maybe a…year…or so?] [turns to leave the room] 

Harry: [whispers] Draco, you *idiot!* 

Draco: What? 

Harry: McGonagall?!?!? You almost got us caught by McGonagall!!! 

Draco: [grins] Well, you wanted us to come out of the closet. 

Harry: To our *friends*, not the *teachers!* 

Draco: You should be more *specific* next time, Harry dear. 

McGonagall: [continues muttering to self: '…but I could've *sworn* that I saw Malfoy…sigh…maybe I should check…after all, I *am* supposed to look for him and Potter…maybe he's seen Potter…yeah right…maybe he's killed him and left the body somewhere…'] 

Draco: [hears McGonagall, smirks and whispers to Harry] Well, your body's here alright…but it's not very dead, is it? 

Harry: [pokes self] No, not very dead at all. 

[Dean and Seamus enter the room] 

Seamus: You called for us, Professor? 

McGonagall: Yes. Could you two help me look for Malfoy and Potter, please? Those two are late for the Sorting *again*. 

Dean: Sure, Professor. [grins] They're probably at each others' throats again. Well, let's go, Seamus. 

Draco (still in closet): [smirks at Harry] At each others' throats…among other body parts. [leers, grabs Harry and kisses him] 

Harry: [a bit panicked] Drac, not *now*! 

[they scuffle] 

Seamus: [cocks head on one side] Did you hear something? 

McGonagall: Hmm… 

Dean: [blinks] No. C'mon Seamus, let's go and find those two, or we'll miss the feast! 

[Dean and Seamus leave] 

McGonagall: [ponders] Well, just to be sure… [opens closet door] AAAAHHHHH!!!! 

Draco & Harry: [jump apart] AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! 

Harry: [thwacks Draco] I *told* you it wasn't a good time to jump me! 

Draco: I didn't hear *you* complaining. [smirks] 

Harry: Well… 

McGonagall: [looks like a zombie] I just found…Malfoy and Potter…in my closet…half-naked…making out…[runs out of room] ALBUS, I NEED MY LEAVE AND I NEED IT *NOW*!   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #3**

(In a closet in the Divination classroom) 

Harry: Draco, I think it's time we came out of the closet. 

Draco: What, like now? [looks down at self] But I'm not wearing any pants! 

Harry: Very funny. You know what I mean. 

Draco: Yeah, yeah. I don't particularly want to go out there now, anyway. The perfume stench is overpowering. 

Harry: Tell me about it. I still dream about it at night. [shudders] 

Draco: I thought you dreamt about _ME_ at night. 

Harry: [smirks] Yeah. _*Awful*_ nightmares, those. 

Draco: *Hey!* [shoves Harry playfully] 

Harry: [loses balance] 

Trelawney: [stares deep into crystal ball] I predict that two of my students will give me a nasty shock today. [blinks] Oh, dearie-my. I hope that dear boy Harry Potter won't die in my class. 

Draco: [snickers] Dying *again*, Harry? This must be the thirtieth time she's predicted your death this month. 

Harry: Forty-second, actually. [tries unsuccessfully to regain balance, and falls against the closet door] 

Draco: Oh…shit. [lunges towards Harry to stop him falling out the closet] 

[Closet door opens, depositing Harry (without his shirt) and Draco (still without his pants) in an undignified heap on the Divination classroom carpet.] 

Trelawney: [blinks at the two boys] 

Harry: Er, hi, Professor. 

Draco: [looks around for his pants] 

Trelawney: Ah. I did predict that two of my students would give me a nasty shock today…[voice trails off] [eyes roll up into head, and she faints] 

**[thud]**

Draco: [looks offended] She called us nasty! 

Harry: [snickers and pokes at the unconscious Professor Trelawney] I never liked Divination anyway.   
  
  
  
  


Liked it? Hated it? Review review review! Please? ^^ 

TBC...Next chapter: Ron's turn for a nasty surprise! *grin*   
  



	2. Ron’s turn for a nasty shock

  
  
  


Coming Out of the Closet   
by lorien

  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. 

Warnings: Draco/Harry slash, humour   
  
  
  
  


Chapter 2: Ron's turn for a nasty shock   
  
  
  


Harry: Eh, I guess I should tell Ron. [winces] After all, he's my best friend… 

Draco: [snickers] Ooh, this is gonna be fun. 

Harry: You're not helping… 

Draco: I'm not supposed to. [grins] 

Harry: [rolls eyes]   
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #1**

(On the Hogwarts Express, on the way back to school. Ron, Hermione and Harry are sitting together in one of the carriages. Hermione is fast asleep.) 

Harry: Ron? 

Ron: Yeah? 

Harry: Have you ever had something really weird happen to you before? 

Ron: Like what? Well, there was that time Percy actually *laughed* at one of Bill's jokes…now that was *weird*. 

Harry: No, like really, _*really*_ weird. Like "I-just-transfigured-Snape-into-a-spider-monkey" kind of weird. 

Ron: [blinks] No, I can't say that something like that's ever happened to me before. [grins] Not that it wouldn't be *nice*, though. 

Harry: [thinks: 'you probably won't think what I have to tell you is "nice"…'] …or, like, "Hermione-didn't-do-her-homework" kind of weird. 

Ron: [looks shocked] There is NO way that would happen. [stares at Harry] Harry, are you feeling alright? You look a little…pale. 

Harry: [sarcastic, thinks: 'of COURSE I'm fine. I'm about to tell my best friend that I'm sleeping with Draco Malfoy, who also happens to be a *guy* and Ron's *worst enemy*. Of COURSE I'm fine. Never better. I'm feeling GREAT now. I could just get up and dance and sing.'] 

Ron: Harry? 

Harry: Uh, Ron…this may sound weird, but… 

[door to carriage opens, and Draco pokes his head in] 

Ron: [glares at Draco] Get **OUT** of here, you slimy git. 

Draco: [doesn't even look at Ron] 'lo, Harry. 

Ron: *Harry*?!? Since when are you two on a first name basis? 

Draco: [smirks] Oh, we're a _*lot*_ closer than _*that*_. 

Harry: ……. [thinks: 'I have a bad feeling about this.'] 

Draco: [walks over to Harry, plops himself down on his lap, and kisses him] 

Harry: …… [thinks: 'Yep, definite bad feeling…mmmmmm.'] 

Ron: [blinks] This is a bad dream. 

Draco: [stops kissing Harry to breathe] No, it isn't. 

Harry: …… [thinks: 'Oh no.'] 

Ron: [pinches self, then looks at Draco in abject horror] No, it _*isn't*_. 

Draco: Parroting now, are we, Weasley? What'll it be next? 'Polly wants a cracker'? 

Harry: [smacks Draco] Drac, be nice. 

Ron: "DRAC"?!?? Oh, MAN… 

**[thud]**

Harry: [opens mouth] 

Draco: Yes, yes, I know. I'll go find some smelling salts. [gets off Harry's lap] 

Harry: [reproachfully] You *could* have at least let me finish telling him first, you know. 

Draco: [smirks] Why tell him when you could *show* him? [pounces on Harry again] 

Harry: Mmph! [forgets all about smelling salts and starts thinking about more…er…*important* things] 

Hermione: Zzzzzz.   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #2**

(In Potions class. Ron and Harry are partners, and are making a Cure-Delusionus potion.) 

Harry: [busy chopping pickled rats' tails] Uh, Ron? 

Ron: [busy measuring out powdered bats' eyeballs into the bubbling orange liquid in their cauldron] …one, two, three, four……what, Harry? 

Harry: I have something rather, um, important to tell you. 

Ron: [still measuring] …five, six……what is it? 

Harry: I'm in love with Draco Malfoy. 

Ron: [still measuring] …seven…ei - WHAT?!?? 

Snape: Weasley, Potter, ten points from Gryffindor for disturbing my class. 

(At Ron's shout, several students turn around to stare at Ron. Ron is frozen on the spot, gaping at Harry. When nothing further happens for a few seconds, the students get bored and turn back to their potions.) 

Draco: [looks up and smirks. Mouths to Harry: 'Told him?'] 

Harry: [mouths back to Draco: 'Yup. He's not taking it too well.'] [waves hand in front of Ron's face] Ron? Ron, you there? 

Hermione: [comments to Neville, who's her Potions partner for today] Ron sure is acting strangely today. 

Neville: Yeah…argh! [the potion he's stirring begins to boil over] 

Hermione: [squeaks in horror, forgetting all about Ron, and tries to clean up the mess before Snape sees it] 

Snape: [sarcastic] Nice try, Miss Granger. Five points from Gryffindor. 

Hermione: [glares] 

Ron: [snaps out of trance and smiles brightly at Harry] Harry, are you feeling okay? C'mon, I think you need to try some of this potion. [waves ladle around] 

Harry: [backs away nervously] Uh, Ron… 

Ron: [beams] Really! It'll do you some good! It'll clear you of all these…*delusions*…about…[shudders] _*Malfoy*_. 

Harry: [still backing away] Ron…I'm fine, really… 

Ron: [shoves ladleful of potion in Harry's face] Try it, try it! 

Harry: Oh, _*fine*_…[gingerly takes a sip of the potion] 

Ron: Do you feel…different…at all? 

Harry: No. 

Ron: [blinks] Uh…well…[beams again] Then we just have to use a stronger potion! [starts measuring out more ingredients, muttering to self: 'must cure poor Harry…wonder what Malfoy did to him…'] [shudders again and shoots a glare at Draco across the classroom] 

Draco: [mutters to self: 'I could've _*told*_ him that Weasley wouldn't take it well, but noooo, he wouldn't listen…'] [looks up, sees Ron glaring at him, and…*winks* at Ron] 

Harry: [glares at Draco] 

Draco: [grins and blows Harry a kiss across the classroom] 

Snape: [blinks] Am I missing something here? 

Ron: I did NOT just see Malfoy wink at me. [shudders AGAIN, and drops the entire bottle of powdered bats' eyeballs into the potion by mistake] 

Harry: [eyes widen in alarm] 

Draco: Uh-oh. [motions to Harry to duck, then ducks under table himself] 

Crabbe & Goyle: [look at Draco with identical puzzled expressions] What're you doing? 

Draco: Shut up and DUCK! 

**[BOOM]**

(The potion explodes, drenching Ron and Snape, who are the only two left standing in the classroom. Everyone else has ducked under their desks. Harry, being partnered with Ron, has ducked under the table *their* potion is on, which hasn't proven a very effective shield against the explosion. So, Harry is also half-drenched in Cure-Delusionus potion.) 

Ron: [looks hopefully at Harry] You cured? 

Harry: I'm still in love with Draco, if that's what you mean. 

Ron: This is worse than I thought. [shudders] Maybe I should take you to Madam Pomfrey. 

Snape: Weasley, thirty points from Gryffindor for messing up the potion. And another ten points from Gryffindor for messing up my nice new robes.   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #3**

(In Harry's dorm; daytime.) 

Draco & Harry (sitting on Harry's bed): [smoochsmoochsmooch] 

(The door opens) 

Ron: Harry? You in there? 

Harry: [eyes widen in shock] [yanks Draco onto the floor and shoves him under his bed] Er, yeah, Ron? 

Ron: I'm - 

Draco (from under Harry's bed): [grumbles] I thought you wanted to *tell* him! 

Ron: - uh, did your bed just say it wants to tell me something? [glances from Harry, to the bed, and back to Harry, with deep suspicion] 

Harry: Er…no, no, it's nothing. [tries to look innocent] 

Bed: [offended tone] So I'm _*nothing*_ now, am I? 

Harry: [pouts at bed] I didn't mean it like that and you know it! 

Ron: [looks extremely nervous] That's it, I've gone starkers…bet that scumbag Malfoy slipped something into my drink this morning…I'm imagining Harry having a conversation with his bed. [eyes wide, begins backing away _veeeery_ slowly] Harry, I'll, um, be in the infirmary if you need me, okay? 

Bed: OI! 

Ron: [jumps about half a foot in the air, looking shocked] Huh? Wha~? 

Bed: Don't insult Draco. He's a great guy. 

Ron: [opens mouth to argue, then pauses and snaps it shut] Shit. SHIT. I've gone stark, raving *bonkers*…I was about to argue with a *BED*! [looks slightly hysterical] 

Harry: [pokes head under bed] Okay, stop messing with Ron's mind, you. 

Bed: [sulky tone] But it's so *fun*…[voice brightens up] …and so _*easy*_!! 

Ron: [looks a little offended even in the middle of his shock] 

Harry: [stifles laugh] Oh, come *out* already. [drags Draco from under bed] 

Ron: [jumps back, yelling at the top of his lungs] YOU!!!!!!!!! [glares accusingly at Draco] What are you doing in the *Gryffindor* dorms?!? 

Draco: I was invited. 

Ron: [scoffs] I'm sure. Who the hell would invite YOU in? 

Draco: Harry. [grins] 

Ron: [snorts] Yeah _*right*_! 

Harry: [grins at Ron sheepishly] Er, actually… 

Ron: [looks horrified] What?!? You DID?!? 

Harry: Yeah… 

Ron: What FOR?!? 

Harry: [is at a loss for words] 

Ron: Harry? 

Harry: Uh…how to explain this… 

Draco: Let me help. [slides hand under Harry's shirt] 

Ron: Gaaaaa~h?!?? 

Draco: [starts unbuttoning Harry's shirt] 

Harry: [looks at Ron, grinning sheepishly] Um, yeah, that's about the gist of it. 

Draco: [whips off Harry's shirt and starts on his belt] 

Ron: [mouth drops open] Eh, okay guys, you can stop now. Funny joke, ha-ha. Okay, _*stoppit*_, you're freaking me out. 

Harry: [not paying attention to Ron anymore] [yanking impatiently on Draco's shirt] 

Ron: Guys? 

Draco: [pins Harry to the bed and starts kissing him] 

Ron: GUYS? 

Harry: [moans] 

Ron: Eeewww… [face is a very nice shade of pale green] 

Draco: [groans] 

Ron: [runs out of the room] 

(The door slams shut behind Ron.)   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #4**

(In Harry's dorm; nighttime. I.e., it's PITCH DARK.) 

**[THUMP]**

**[THUMP]**

Ron: [sleepy] Seamus, shuddup [rolls over and goes back to sleep] 

(Silence.) 

**[THUMP]**

Ron: [sleepy] Dean, stop making so much noise…zzzzzzz. 

(Silence.) 

**[THUMP]**

Ron: [sleepy & a little annoyed] Oh, for goodness' sake…who's making the noise? Neville? Harry? 

Harry: Mmph…huh? 

Ron: Harry, if it's you making the noise, then stoppit! 

**[THUMPTHUMPTHUMP]**

[sounds of a scuffle, and a muffled snicker] 

Ron: [growls] 

Harry: Sorry. 

[muffled whispering] 

**[THUMP]**

Ron: HARRY! 

Harry: Sorry, sorry. 

[sounds of another scuffle] 

Ron: [growls] Harry…I'm warning you… [picks up clock on bedside table, and throws it in the general direction of Harry's bed] 

**[THUNK]**

Disembodied voice: OW! 

Ron: [furrows brow] [mutters: 'that didn't sound like Harry…'] 

[more scuffling sounds] 

Ron: [blinks] Harry? You okay? [squints at Harry's bed through the pitch darkness, but can't see anything] 

Harry: [sounds rather ruffled] Er, yeah. Go back to sleep, Ron. 

Disembodied voice: [mutters] Damn, forgot to do this…[mutters a silence spell] 

(Silence.) 

Ron: [sits up in bed, suspicious] That _*definitely*_ didn't sound like Harry. [picks up wand from bedside table, aims it towards Harry's bed, and mutters, "Lumos"] 

(……) 

Ron: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! 

**[whomp]**

**[clunk]** (The wand falls to the floor, unheeded.) 

Harry (naked): [peers over at Ron, who's out cold on his bed] [sighs] At least he didn't hurt himself. 

Draco (also naked): [smirks] Aww, poor Weasel. 

Harry: [drily] You sound soooo sympathetic… 

Draco: Huh well, I have more important things on my mind now. [smirks at Harry] 

Harry: True, true… [is about to pounce on Draco] 

Seamus: [groggy] Hrmffzzz…wha' w…noise? Ron, th'you? 

Harry: [looks horrified] [pokes head out from boundary of silence spell around his bed] Uh, it's nothing Seamus, Ron just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep. 

Seamus: [groggy] Oh…'k. 'Nite, Harry…zzzzzzz. 

Harry: [wipes sweat off forehead] Phew. [smirks at Draco] [pounces] 

Ron (slumped on bed): [dazed] Yea'…ni'mare…BAD ni'mare…think 'm gonna go blind…[passes out again]   
  
  
  
  


Reviews greatly appreciated! And thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! *beams and huggles* 

TBC...Next chapter: Hermione - "They didn't say anything about this in the books!"   
  



	3. Hermione – “They didn’t say anything abo...

  
  
  


Coming Out of the Closet   
by lorien

  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. 

Warnings: Draco/Harry slash, humour 

Thanks for all the reviews! *smiles and hugs reviewers* And thanks for the suggestions too...I'll definitely try to write chapters for the people mentioned! ^^   
  
  
  
  


Chapter 3: Hermione - "They didn't say anything about this in the books!"   
  
  
  


Harry: Well…all things considered, I suppose Ron took it pretty well. 

Draco: [drily] I wouldn't call that "well", exactly. 

Harry: [drily] Well, you're still in one piece, aren't you? [grins] 

Draco: We~lllll, I suppose… [grins] So, who next? 

Harry: Heh heh heh. Pansy. 

Draco: No! 

Harry: [pouts] Why not? Are you *ashamed* of me? [glares at Draco dangerously] 

Draco: 'Course not, don't be an ass. I just don't want to get too near her…she's like a bloody leech. No pun intended. 

Harry: [snickers] Okay, I'll spare you for the moment, then. Since Ron knows, I guess I'll go tell Hermione… [winces at thought of another *very* violent reaction] 

Draco: [perks up] Sounds good to me. 

Harry: [rolls eyes] You _*would*_ say that.   
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #1**

(In the Hogwarts Express. Harry and Hermione are sitting together in one of the carriages. Ron hasn't gotten there yet.) 

Harry: [serious look] Herm, I have something important to tell you. 

Hermione: [serious look] What is it, Harry? Has You-Know-Who turned up somewhere? Has your scar been hurting again? Is this about Snuffles? Or is it about that particularly difficult piece of Transfiguration homework - 

Harry: No, no, nothing like that. 

Hermione: Oh good, because I took a _*really*_ long time to come up with the answer to question fifty-three part five-b… 

Harry: Uh, Herm… 

Hermione: [sheepish] Okay, okay, shutting up. So what was it you wanted to tell me? 

Harry: It's, er, about Draco. 

Hermione: [furrows brow] Did you just call _*Malfoy*_ by his first name? Harry, are you alright? [feels Harry's forehead to check for a fever] 

Harry: [swats Hermione's hand away] Yes, I'm *fine*…it's just that, um, Draco and I are… 

Hermione: What? Bitter enemies? Going to kill each other? Or…[pauses dramatically] are you…[another dramatic pause] Heaven forbid…secretly _*dating*_? [sniggers] 

Harry: …yeah, that's about right. 

Hermione: [blinks] 

Harry: …… 

Hermione: …WHAT?!?? 

Harry: …… 

Hermione: [looks a little alarmed] You're kidding…right? 

Harry: …… [wipes away trail of sweat] 

Hermione: [looks even more alarmed] [voice gets a little shrill] Don't even *joke* about something like that, Harry! 

Draco: [pops head in] He wasn't joking. 

Hermione: [pales] 

Harry: [grins hopefully at Hermione] 

Draco: [walks in and sits down beside Harry] 

Hermione: [weakly] Er, does Ron know about this? 

Harry: Yup… 

Hermione: [gets up, muttering something about going to look for Ron] 

Draco: Um, Grang - Hermione, when you find him, don't mention this to him. 

Hermione: [still dazed] Why? 

Harry: He, er, didn't take it very well, to say the least… 

Draco: Actually, he didn't take it well at *all*. 

Harry: [exasperated] Draco! 

Draco: [shrugs and grins at Harry, then kisses him] 

Hermione: [tries not to hyperventilate] And I wonder just _*why*_ Ron didn't take it well. 

(Hermione leaves…very hurriedly.)   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #2**

(In Potions class. Snape is in the middle of a very complicated explanation of how the Gooberberry for the Intelligence-Enhancing Potion they are going to make must be harvested at exactly 2.11am on the night of a full moon, or the potion will turn into a Intelligence-Eroding Potion instead and have dire effects on one's intellect…or lack thereof.) 

("Of course, if you're *already* stupid, it won't have any effect on you anyway," pronounced Snape, with a pointed glance in Harry's direction.) 

Hermione: [raptly taking notes] [decides that she'll go to the library later to read up on this *fascinating* potion] 

Ron: [yawns and tries not to fall asleep] 

Harry: [stares longingly - but discreetly - across the classroom at Draco] 

Hermione: [glances at Harry] [does double take] 

Ron: …zzzz… 

Hermione: …!!! 

Ron: …zzzz… 

Hermione: [pokes Ron and whispers] Ron…why is Harry making googly-eyes at _*Malfoy*_?!? 

Ron: [looks very ill] "Googly-eyes"?!? Did you _*have*_ to tell me that? [makes choking sound] 

Hermione: [looks a little alarmed] What're you going on about? 

Ron: Go ask Harry… [leans back on table and sighs] You've just guaranteed me nightmares about Harry and _Malfoy_ [shudders] for the next two weeks at _*least*_. [looks a little ill] 

Hermione: ??? 

Ron: [mutters to self] _*Googly-eyes*_…ughhhhh! [shudders again] 

Hermione: [rolls eyes and mutters to self] He's cracked… 

Harry: [stares at Draco] …… [mournful sigh] 

Hermione: [starts to look a _*tad*_ more alarmed] Er, Harry…? 

Harry: [still staring at Draco] Hmm…? 

Hermione: Why're you staring at _*Malfoy*_ with that…mooshy…look on your face?? 

Ron: *Mooshy*?!? [makes a sound halfway between a gag and a slightly hysterical laugh] 

Harry: Draco…*smiles dreamily* 

Hermione: Harry…you're scaring me. 

Ron: [sarcastic] Do tell. 

Hermione: Alright, what's going on? 

Ron: Harry. And [disgusted tone] _*Malfoy*_. Are. An. Item. 

Hermione: …… 

Ron: Er…Herm? 

Hermione: [squeaks faintly] 

Snape: [sarcastic] Potter, Weasley, Granger. Is there anything you would like to share with the class? 

Ron & Hermione: No…_sir_. 

Harry: [still off in la-la land] 

Snape: Ten points from Gryffindor - each - for not paying attention in class. 

Draco: [peeks at Harry out of the corner of his eye] [winks] 

Snape: And somebody wake Potter up, he's drooling on the desk. 

Draco: [tries desperately to keep a straight face] 

Ron: [pokes Harry] 

Hermione: [looks worriedly at Harry] This must be the symptoms of some weird disease or something. I'll go check it up in the library later. 

(After class, Hermione is as good as her word, and drags Ron to the library to find out what's "wrong" with Harry. Harry, meanwhile, has mysteriously…disappeared…and neither Ron nor Hermione is terribly eager to find out where he is.) 

(A certain blonde Slytherin, however, knows _*exactly*_ where Harry is…) 

(Meanwhile, in the library…) 

Hermione: [flipping through books] Argh! 

Ron: [sleepy] What? 

Hermione: [distraught] There's nothing in here that could possibly tell me what's wrong with Harry! 

Ron: [dramatic] Ah, the affliction called _*lurrrrr-ve*_. 

Hermione: [glares at Ron] What, are you *happy* about this or something? 

Ron: Of course not! [shudders] But seriously, do you think you can find all the answers in your books? 

Hermione: Of course! [continues flipping frantically thorough dozens of thick library books in the hopes of finding something, _*anything*_, about Harry's…affliction] 

Ron: [dozes off] 

(An hour later…) 

Ron: [wakes up screaming something about a nightmare involving Harry and Malfoy sans clothes doing…things…to each other] 

Hermione: [grabs hair and wails in frustration] WHY ISN'T THERE ANYTHING ABOUT THIS IN MY BOOKS?!? 

(And somewhere else in Hogwarts…) 

Harry & Draco: [contented sigh]   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #3**

(End of Potions class. Harry had had to see Dumbledore for something, and so hadn't come to class. Ron has just left the class, and Hermione is about to follow him.) 

Hermione: [feels someone tap her on the shoulder] [turns around] 

Draco: [looks a little embarrassed] Um, Grang - Hermione, could you help me pass this to Harry? [shoves a folded-up piece of paper into her hands] 

Hermione: [regards Draco with deep suspicion] What're you up to this time? 

Draco: Nothing! [spreads hands in an 'I'm-not-guilty' gesture] 

Hermione: [still suspicious] Trying to get Harry into trouble again, are you? [blinks] Waitaminute…why're you being so polite today? 

Draco: [looks like he wants to turn around and run] Look, just pass him the note, okay? _*Please*_? 

Hermione: [almost dies of shock when Draco says "please"] [is at a loss for words for a minute or two] 

Draco: [hurries off] 

Hermione: Uh…ookayyyy… [looks at note suspiciously for a second, then tucks it into her bag] [goes off to find Ron] 

(A few minutes later, she catches up with Ron.) 

Hermione: Ron!! You won't _*believe*_ what just happened. Malfoy - 

[piece of paper drops out of Hermione's bag and falls to the floor] 

Ron: [bends down and picks up the paper] Hey, you dropped this…wha~? 

Hermione: [blinks at Ron] What? 

Ron: [reading piece of paper] …whoa. [sniggers] Didn't realise you were so…_*poetic*_, Herm. [grins] Or…wait…is this from a secret admirer? 

Hermione: Huh? 

Ron: [mutters] Waitaminute. Hermione? Secret admirer? [emotions war between "jealous" and "amused"…….but "amused" finally wins out] 

Hermione: [looks utterly confused] 

Ron: [reads what's written on the piece of paper out loud]   
  
  


My beloved, 

The fountains mingle with the river,   
And the rivers with the ocean;   
The winds of heaven mix forever,   
With a sweet emotion;   
Nothing in the world is single;   
All things by a law divine   
In one another's being mingle;   
Why not I with thine? 

See, the mountains kiss high heaven,   
And the waves clasp one another;   
No sister flower would be forgiven,   
If it disdained its brother;   
And the sunlight clasps the earth,   
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;   
What are all these kissings worth,   
If thou kiss not me? **[1]**   
  


_Meet me behind Hagrid's cabin tonight at 1am. And don't forget to bring the handcuffs. I'll be waiting… _

~ Love, D.   
  
  


Hermione: [looks a little pale] 

Ron: [still reading the piece of paper, grinning] So who's the secret admirer, Herm? "D" huh…lemme see…Dean? Issit Dean? Hmmm? [looks over at Hermione] 

Hermione: …… 

Ron: [thinks: _'I'm gonna *KILL* Dean…Hermione's MINE! …although she doesn't *know* it yet…'_] 

Hermione: …… [looks a little ill] 

Ron: Handcuffs…hmm…kinky. 

Hermione: [starts to look even *more* ill] That…note… 

Ron: Yes, what about it? 

Hermione: [babbles incoherently] I…not me…Malfoy…class…asked me to pass it to Harry… 

Ron: [eyes go very, *very* wide] Ohhh………….*that*……………EEWWWWW, I was trying to FORGET about it! [looks ill as well] 

Hermione: Oy. [goes into shock] 

[thud] 

Ron: Hermione? Herm, wake up! HERM!   
  
  
  


**[1]** This poem does not belong to me! It's by Percy Bysshe Shelley…I just borrowed it for Draco. *grins*   
  
  
  
  


C&C greatly appreciated! ^^ 

TBC...Next chapter: Pansy - "My Drakkie-poo loves me! I just KNOW it!"   
  



	4. Pansy – “My Drakkie-poo loves me! I just...

  
  
  


Coming Out of the Closet   
by lorien

  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. 

Warnings: Draco/Harry slash, humour...and Pansy-bashing in this chapter.   
  


Oh, and...lots and lots of thanks go out to all reviewers! ^^   
  
  
  
  


Chapter 4: Pansy - "My Drakkie-poo loves me! I just KNOW it!"   
  
  
  
_{WARNING: This chapter contains severe PANSY-BASHING. If you like Pansy, 'tis not a good idea to read this. ^^;;}_   
  


~*~

  
  
  
  


[Draco and Harry are in the infirmary, visiting Hermione - who is lying in one of the infirmary's beds, still unconscious - after her rather…violent…reaction to the revelation of their relationship.] 

Draco: Well…*that* went well… 

Harry: …not. 

Draco: My thoughts exactly. [nods sagely] 

Harry: Well…I've told my two best friends about us. So now it's *your* turn… [pokes Draco] 

Draco: [wide-eyed innocent look] But I don't *have* any best friends…except *you*, of course [grins winningly at Harry] 

Harry: Nice try. Now go tell Pansy you're taken…so she'll keep her hands off MY boyfriend. 

Draco: [smirks] Ooh…do I detect a hint of jealousy? 

Harry: Not at all. [sticks tongue out at Draco] 

Draco: [points to Harry's tongue] …and don't show that to me unless you intend to use it. 

Harry: [smirks back] Oh, I fully intend to… [proceeds to engage Draco in an intense session of tonsil hockey] 

Hermione: [opens eyes and blinks fuzzily…the first thing she sees is, of course, Draco and Harry in a clinch] Ooh…eeewww. [falls unconscious again]   
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #1**

(Blaise and Pansy are huddled in the Slytherin common room, whispering secretively to each other.) 

Pansy: So you'll do it? 

Blaise: [sighs] 

Pansy: [tugs at Blaise's sleeve and whines. Shrilly.] Pleeeeeeeaaassse? 

Blaise: [winces] …okay, okay. 

Pansy: [beams] 

Blaise: [turns away so Pansy can't see, and grimaces] [mutters to self] Good luck to you, Malfoy. 

(Just then, the door opens and Draco walks into the Slytherin common room.) 

Pansy: [looks up immediately] 

Draco: [sees Pansy] [winces slightly] 

Pansy: [enthusiastic] Drakkie-poo! Come and play Truth or Dare with us! 

Draco: I can't. I…er…have…something…to do. [looks around desperately for Crabbe or Goyle to rescue him] 

(Crabbe and Goyle then enter the room.) 

Pansy: Hey, you guys! Wanna play Truth or Dare? 

Crabbe: [shrugs] Uh…okay. 

Goyle: [shrugs and nods] 

Draco: [slaps forehead] I-di-ots. 

Pansy: [beams at Draco] So you'll play, right, Drakkie-poo? 

Draco: Don't. Call. Me. That. 

Pansy: [pouts] C'mon, play…pleeease? 

Draco: [grumbles] Oh, *fine*. 

(Pansy, Blaise, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle sit down in a circle. A few other Slytherin students join them. They play for a while, and then it's Blaise's turn to call.) 

Pansy: [pokes Blaise, trying to be subtle but not really succeeding] 

Blaise: [grits teeth] Malfoy. Truth or dare? 

Draco: [ponders] Er…dare. 

Pansy: [big smile] 

Draco: [sees Pansy's grin and feels vaguely like an insect trapped in a small glass jar] 

Blaise: [clears throat] Okay…go, um, kiss the person you're in love with. 

Draco: [blinks] What? 

Pansy: [beams at Draco] 

Blaise: [rolls eyes and sighs] 

Draco: [shrugs] Fine. 

Pansy: [prepares to pucker up] 

Draco: [calmly stands up, and walks out of the dorm] 

Pansy: Hey, wait, where're you going? I'm right here! [scurries out after Draco] 

Blaise: [eyes widen] This I gotta see. [grins and follows Pansy out] 

Draco: [strolls purposefully down a corridor, with Pansy and Blaise trailing after him] 

Blaise: [blinks at the décor in the corridors] [mutters to self] Hey, these corridors lead to the *Gryffindor* dorms…Malfoy's after some _*Gryffindor*_ girl? This'll be interesting… [smirks] 

Pansy: [wonders why Draco has to go so far away from the Slytherin rooms to kiss her] 

Draco: [stops outside the Gryffindor common rooms and ponders what to do] 

Pansy: [thinks: 'Ooh, he's going to show all those nasty Gryffindors how much he loves me!'] [prepares to pucker up again] 

Blaise: [glances at Pansy and tries not to snicker] 

(After a few minutes, the portrait leading to the Gryffindor common room swings open, and Harry steps out.) 

Pansy: [sneers] Potter. 

Harry: [ignores Pansy and smiles at Draco] Hey. 

Draco: [smiles] Hey. 

Blaise & Pansy: [blink and rub eyes] 

Draco: Got a dare to fulfil. [grabs Harry and kisses him] 

Harry: Mmmmmm… 

Blaise: [mouth drops open] 

Pansy: Wha-wha-wha-what- [stammers incoherently] 

Harry: [glances up dazedly and sees Pansy] Oh, hi. 

Pansy: [gaping like a fish] [passes out from shock] 

**[thud]**

Blaise: [eyes wide] …… 

Draco: [smirks at Blaise, then wanders off arm-in-arm with Harry] 

Blaise: [mutters to self] Malfoy and…_*Potter*_?!? Man…Malfoy must *REALLY* hate Pansy. [wrinkles nose and prods at unconscious Pansy, then wanders off] 

(The portrait to the Gryffindor common room swings open again, and Ron and Hermione step out.) 

Ron & Hermione: [trip over Pansy's unconscious body] Ouch! 

Ron: [blinks down at Pansy] It's that Slytherin girl…the one who's always all over Malfoy. [shudders] Goodness knows why. 

Hermione: [drily] By the look on her face, she must've been another casualty of Harry and Malfoy's "coming-out-of-the-closet" kick. 

Ron: [sarcastic] Aww, the _poor_ thing.   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #2**

(Gryffindor's having Double Potions with the Slytherins. Snape is explaining what they're going to make today.) 

Snape: Today, you'll be preparing a Love Potion. This particular potion is fluorescent orange in colour, and causes you to fall in love with the first person you see after imbibing the potion. Note that Love Potions are *very dangerous*, so do *not*, I repeat, do *NOT*, try to taste the potion. And don't even THINK about using the potion to play a trick on anybody, hear me? [pointed look in Harry's direction] 

Harry: [doesn't see Snape's glare because he's too busy staring at a certain blonde Slytherin] 

Hermione: [glances over at Harry and sees what - or rather, *who* - he's staring at] [slaps forehead] Good God. 

Ron: [looks at Harry, and winces] My thoughts exactly. 

(The students begin making their potion. Exactly an hour later, everyone, even Neville - with Hermione's help - has finished, their cauldrons full of a noxious-looking orange liquid.) 

Snape: [walks around the class checking everyone's potions] [stops in front of Neville's potion] Longbottom, I'm shocked… 

Neville: [stares at Snape fearfully] 

Snape: …that your potion's actually *correct*. [walks off and finishes checking all the potions] Class dismissed. 

Pansy: [grins to herself and slips a small vial - filled with a certain orange liquid - into her bag] 

(The students rush out the door and go for lunch.) 

(At lunch, Pansy manages to get herself a seat next to the object of her obsessi - er, *adoration*, Draco Malfoy.) 

Pansy: [grabs Draco's arm] Oh, Drakkie-poo, look! Over there! [points] 

Draco: [glares at Pansy and tries to shake her arm off] Stop calling me that! 

Pansy: [tugs insistently at Draco's arm] Look, look over there! [points in the general direction of the Gryffindor tables] 

Draco: [shrugs] Whatever. [turns to look, and takes the opportunity to stare at Harry, who is presently talking animatedly to Ron] 

(At the Gryffindor tables…) 

Ron: [waving hands around animatedly] …and then, she - 

Harry: [eyes glaze over] 

Ron: [blinks] - Harry? [turns to look at whatever Harry's staring at] [sees Draco staring right at Harry] 

Harry: [dreamy smile] 

Ron: [rolls eyes] HARRY! 

Harry: [snaps back to reality] Huh? Oh - yeah. You were saying…? 

Ron: [continues talking animatedly…and Harry actually pays attention this time ;)] 

(Back at the Slytherin tables…) 

Pansy: [thinks to self: 'My Drakkie-poo loves me! I just KNOW it! He just needs some encouragement, that's all…'] 

Draco: Pansy, what did you want me to look at? 

Pansy: Huh? Oh…er…it was nothing. 

Draco: [gives Pansy a strange look] Ooo-kay. 

Pansy: Drakkie-poo, want some water to drink? [proffers glass and smiles sweetly at Draco] 

Draco: [looks at Pansy suspiciously] Pansy, why is my water orange? 

Pansy: [looks confused for a moment] Oh! Oh…er, it's…orange juice? 

Draco: [reasonable tone] But you just said it was *water*. 

Pansy: It's…uh…orange juice-flavoured water! [beams proudly] 

Draco: [looks around the table] Then why is everyone else drinking *normal* water? 

Pansy: [shrugs] Yours is special! [bats eyelashes at Draco] 

Draco: [recoils slightly] Uh…right. 

Pansy: Go on, drink it! [practically shoves the drink in Draco's face] 

Draco: [thinks of the orange potion they prepared in class, and remembers what Snape said about it] …okay. 

Pansy: [beams] 

Draco: [smirks at Pansy] Cheers. [turns around to face the Gryffindor tables, looks straight at Harry and downs his "orange juice-flavoured water" in one gulp] 

Pansy: [choked noise] Y-you were supposed to look at m-m-me!!! [wails] 

Draco: [smiles innocently at Pansy] Why? It was just water…now, if you'll excuse me… 

(Draco gets up and walks over to the Gryffindor tables. He's met with suspicious looks from all the Gryffindors except Ron and Hermione, who simultaneously slap their hands to their foreheads and sigh.) 

Draco: [tries to look like he detests Harry] A word with you, Potter? 

Harry: [tries to look like he detests Draco] [jerks head towards doors] Outside. 

(The two exit the hall, Gryffindors - except Ron and Hermione - glaring suspiciously after Draco. Ron and Hermione are just glaring.) 

(In the corridor…) 

Harry: [grins at Draco] So, did you actually want to talk to me, or did you just get me out here to snog me? 

Draco: [smirks] Both. Pansy decided that she'd put a spot of Love Potion in my drink today. 

Harry: [backs off slightly and glares] And? 

Draco: [sarcastic] And I kinda _*noticed*_ that my _*water*_ was _*orange*_ in colour? 

Harry: Ah yes, there *is* that. 

(Meanwhile, Pansy has suddenly realised that if Draco wasn't looking at _*her*_ while he drank the potion…then maybe…_maybe_…he was looking at ***_someone else_***…fuming, she scurries out of the hall to look for her darling "Drakkie-poo", making a detour to Snape's office to steal some Neutralising Potion first.) 

(Back in the corridor…) 

Draco: …so I looked at you while I drank it. [shrugs] Figured it couldn't hurt, since I'm *already* in love with you. 

Harry: It's really amazing how you can make the most sarcastic things sound romantic. [kisses Draco] 

Draco: I do my best. [kisses Harry back enthusiastically] 

(Then, a very angry Pansy marches up to them and yanks Harry off Draco.) 

Pansy: [screeches] POTTER! How DARE you try to corrupt my dearest Drakkie-poo?!? 

Draco: [winces] 

Harry: …… [splutters] D-d-dr-drakkie-poo?!??? 

Draco: …… 

Harry: [collapses on the ground laughing hysterically] 

Draco: [glances at Harry, and mutters] I am *never* going to hear the end of this… 

Pansy: [shoves a small bottle of green liquid at Draco] Here, _*dearest*_, drink this. It's Neutralising Potion…it'll take away the effects of that awful Love Potion and then you won't be in love with [shudders] _*Potter*_ anymore! 

Draco: …… [grins suddenly] Alright. [drinks the potion] 

Pansy: [eagerly] Well? [bats eyelashes at Draco] 

Draco: [shrugs] [grabs Harry - who's still laughing - and kisses him again] 

Pansy: [eyes wide] It…didn't work? 

Harry: [snickers] D-drakkie-poo… [starts laughing again] 

Pansy: [runs off in fury, shrieking] POTTER, THIS IS ALL *YOUR* FAULT!!! 

Draco: [stares after Pansy, then turns to Harry and shrugs] We'd better go back in before someone comes out to look for us. 

Harry: Sure…*Drakkie-poo*. [bursts out laughing and dashes back into the hall before Draco can react] 

Draco: [sulks and mutters under his breath] Pansy, I'll get you for this.   
  
  
  
  


**SCENARIO #3**

(One day, Pansy decides that she's going to try to seduce Draco into admitting that he loves her. {"Of course he does! My _*darling*_ Drakkie-poo!"} So, she waits until the dead of night, then sneaks into the Slytherin boys' dorms wearing nothing but a skimpy negligee. Opening the door to the boys' dorms, she slips in and pads over to Draco's bed. The boy is totally buried in his blankets, and all she can see is a messy heap of blankets.) 

Pansy: [pokes the heap of blankets] [tries to sound seductive] Helll-oooo, Drakkie-pooooo… 

(The heap of blankets shifts slightly, then settles down again.) 

(Silence.) 

Pansy: [pokes again] Draco? 

(Harry, looking sleepy and rumpled, pokes his head out of the heap of blankets and squints at her blearily.) 

Harry: …Pansy Parkinson? What're you doing in the Gryffindor boys' dorms? 

Pansy: [blinks] G-gryffindor? 

Harry: [looks annoyed] Yes, Gryffindor. [sarcastic] I didn't suddenly turn into a Slytherin overnight, you know. 

Pansy: [sticks nose in air] Hmph, I should hope not. 

Harry: [conversationally] So, you planning on telling me what you're doing in here? 

Pansy: Uh, n-nothing. I'll be going now. [makes a hasty exit] 

Harry: …I didn't think so. 

(Silence.) 

Draco: [pokes head out of blankets] Is she gone? 

Harry: [grins] Yeah…shall we continue? 

Draco: [smirks] Need you ask? [pounces on Harry, and various…noises…issue from the general direction of Draco's bed] 

(In the next bed, Crabbe rolls over, grumbling under his breath about how Malfoy always has such noisy dreams.) 

(Meanwhile, Pansy walks across the corridor and enters her own dorm, then pauses.) 

Pansy: [sudden brainwave] [mutters to self] Waitaminute…since when are the _*Gryffindor*_ boys' dorms right across from the _*Slytherin*_ girls' dorms…? 

(Pansy pauses to ponder this conundrum for a while, then decides that she'd better go back and double-check. After all, Potter could've been _*lying*_ to her, although just _*why*_ he would want to keep her from her dearest Draco, she couldn't for the _*life*_ of her imagine…) 

(Back in the Slytherin boys' dorms, Harry and Draco are busy making out in Draco's bed…) 

Harry: [moans] 

Draco: [moans] 

(Then suddenly…) 

[GASP] 

[thud] 

Harry: [blinks] Did you hear something? [picks up wand from bedside table and mutters, "Lumos"] 

(The wandlight illuminates a sprawled figure on the ground next to Draco's bed.) 

Draco: [pokes at unconscious figure] Hmm, it's Pansy. 

Harry: [grumbles] Looks like we didn't fool her after all. 

Draco: [shrugs, then grins] At least now she knows about us. 

Harry: [chuckles] What a way to find out. So what should we do with her? 

Draco: Leave her there. 

Harry: What? 

Draco: [smirks] A present for Crabbe and Goyle when they wake up. 

Harry: [laughs] Yeah, Pansy Parkinson in a skimpy nightgown. 

Draco & Harry: [look at the unconscious figure on the floor] Eeewww.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


C&C craved & adored! ^^ 

TBC...Next chapter will probably be an interlude of sorts...   
  



	5. Chapter 5: Interlude #1 - The Infirmary ...

  
  


Coming Out of the Closet   
by lorien

  
  


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. 

Warnings: Draco/Harry slash, humour, some Pansy torture, and also, uh, more Ron torture. Poor Ron! I like him, really I do...but somehow, I just can't seem to stop torturing him... ^^;; 

A/N 1: Sorry for the long hiatus! My stupid computer crashed and I lost everything I'd written, so I had to completely rewrite this chapter...and I'll have to rewrite the next one too...*sniffle* 

A/N 2: In case I forgot to mention, this fic is set in Harry's Sixth year at Hogwarts. Harry and Draco are still the Gryffindor and Slytherin Seekers respectively; Ron is a Gryffindor Beater, Seamus Finnigan is a Gryffindor Chaser, Gerald Marino is a Slytherin Chaser, and Lee Jordan has passed the baton on to Dean Thomas, who is now the commentator for the Quidditch matches.   
  
  
  


Chapter 5: Interlude #1 - The Infirmary (and Ron) Will Never Be The Same Again...

(Quidditch Match, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.) 

Dean: - and Seamus Finnigan takes the Quaffle for Gryffindor - nice move, that! - dodges that Bludger - whoa, that was close - Quaffle stolen by Slytherin Chaser Marino - but Marino loses possession due to a nicely-timed Bludger sent his way from Gryffindor Beater Weasley - GOOD MOVE, RON! HAH, TAKE THAT, MARINO, YOU - 

McGonagall: [warning tone] Thomas... 

Dean: Heh heh...sorry, Professor. [turns back to the match] - and Gryffindor Seeker Harry Potter goes into a sharp dive - has he seen the Snitch? Slytherin Seeker Malfoy follows suit - they're neck and neck now - 

Crowd: Ooooh... [gasp] 

Dean: GO, HARRY! BEAT THAT SCUM - 

McGonagall: THOMAS! 

Dean: Ehehe...sorry. [turns back to the match again] - Malfoy inches in front - no, they're still neck and neck - and - oh! - they've collided, and both Seekers tumble down - 

(Dean's words are drowned out by the dismayed roars of the spectators as Draco and Harry tumble to the ground and lie motionless. Quickly, they are brought to the infirmary, and, to the immense disgust of the crowd, the Slytherin-Gryffindor match is cancelled.) 

~*~

(In the infirmary, about fifteen minutes later: Harry is still unconscious, while Draco has just regained consciousness and is having a deep cut on his arm tended to by Madam Pomfrey, who has just finished bandaging up Harry's swollen ankle.) 

Madam Pomfrey: [busily bandages up Draco's arm] Tsk tsk, if it isn't getting injured in a _fight_, then it's a Quidditch injury...such a dangerous game, Quidditch... 

(Madam Pomfrey finishes bandaging Draco's arm, taps her wand on it, then walks out of the infirmary to chase away concerned students and curious onlookers, 'tsk'-ing to herself all the way.) 

Draco: [hops out of the bed he's in and walks over to Harry's bedside, perching on the edge of the bed] 

(About five minutes later, Harry regains consciousness.) 

Harry: [disoriented] Ugh...[blinks up at Draco and notices the bandages] What happened to you? 

Draco: [drily] _You_ happened. We collided during the Quidditch match, remember? 

Harry: [looks around, realising that he's in the infirmary and his foot is bandaged up] Oh...yeah. [looks at Draco] You okay? 

Draco: [pretends to be in severe pain] No...ooh, my arm hurts _really_ bad...maybe you could kiss it and make it better? [grins lasciviously at Harry] 

Harry: Riii-ght. [grins] 

Draco: [raises an eyebrow, smirking suggestively] Harry, we're _alone_ in here right now... 

Harry: [raises eyebrow] Mmm-hmm... 

Draco: Madam Pomfrey is busy chasing nosy students away and won't be back for a while... 

Harry: [smirks slightly] Yes, I think I see where this is going. 

Draco: [slides into Harry's bed] 

Harry: Draco, we're in an _infirmary_. 

Draco: Yup. Lots of nice, soft beds... [bounces on the bed slightly to prove his point] 

Harry: [chuckles] You're insatiable! 

Draco: Are you complaining? 

Harry: ...no, not really. [prepares to pounce on Draco] 

Draco: How's your leg? [indicates Harry's bandaged ankle] 

Harry: [blinks, thrown off by the sudden topic change] It's fine, probably only a minor sprain. 

Draco: Oh, good. [pounces on Harry] 

(And we all know what happens then...) 

~*~

(Suddenly, the door to the infirmary swings open, banging against the wall with a loud **thud**. Pansy storms into the infirmary, obviously fuming about something, and muttering to herself angrily.) 

Pansy: [mutters crossly] The _nerve_ of that woman, trying to prevent me from visiting my _darling_ Drakkie-poo...saying that I'd _disturb_ him, indeed! Stupid Madam Pomfrey... 

Draco & Harry: [too...er..._busy_...to notice that someone's entered the infirmary] 

Pansy: [raises voice] Oh, *Drakkie-poo*! I've come to visit you, my sweet - [enters the room that Draco & Harry are in] - AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! 

**[thud]**

Pansy: [weakly] Damn that stupid Love Potion...[passes out]** [1]**

Harry: [rolls over, grinning happily] Mmm...Draco...hey, did you hear something? 

Draco: No. [attempts to grab Harry again] 

Harry: No, really, I heard something. Sounded like...Pansy Parkinson. 

Draco: [looks faintly ill] Harry...you _do_ realise that you're ruining the mood, right? 

Harry: [peers over the side of the bed and looks mildly surprised] Hey, it _is_ Pansy. 

Draco: Eww, get her _away_ from me! 

Harry: [gives Draco a strange look] Draco, she's unconscious. 

Draco: So? 

Pansy: [still out cold] [mumbles] Nooo...Drakkie-poooo..... 

Draco: [shudders] See? Conscious, unconscious, it's all the same thing. 

Harry: [chuckles and snuggles closer to Draco] Ignore her. 

Draco: [smiles contentedly] 

~*~

(About ten minutes later, Madam Pomfrey returns to the infirmary. Thankfully, Draco and Harry have managed to get their clothes on by now, and Draco has returned to his own bed. The two are lying in separate beds, innocent looks on their faces, when she enters with a bruised Ron in tow.) 

Madam Pomfrey: - and you're lucky you've got no broken bones, just a few scratches - 

Ron: [grumpily] *They* started it! 

Harry: [looks at Ron in surprise] What happened to you? 

Ron: Got into a fight with Crabbe and Goyle. Gits accused us of throwing the Quidditch match on *purpose*. [scoffs] 

Draco: [opens mouth to make a sarcastic comment] 

Harry: [gives Draco a _Look_] 

Draco: [snaps his mouth shut] 

Ron: [notices the whole exchange between Harry and Draco, and snickers] 

Draco: [looks sourly at Ron] Not a word. 

Ron: [smirks] Uh-huh. 

Madam Pomfrey: [suddenly notices Pansy's prone form on the floor] Dear me, what happened to Miss Parkinson? 

Draco: [smiles innocently] She, uh, just came into the infirmary and fainted. Maybe she wasn't feeling well. 

Harry: [tries to look innocent and not blush] 

Ron: [looks from Draco to Harry, faintly suspicious] 

Madam Pomfrey: [moves Pansy to one of the beds in the infirmary, then cleans Ron's wounds with antiseptic and waves her wand over them] Okay, you go lie down for a while, then you can go back to class. 

(Madam Pomfrey suddenly realises that there are no more empty beds available for Ron, so, deciding that Draco's injury isn't very serious, she waves the blonde boy out of his bed and points Ron towards it.) 

Ron: [makes a face] I'm not lying in a bed that _Malfoy_ has been in! 

Madam Pomfrey: [sighs] 

Ron: [shows no signs of budging] 

Madam Pomfrey: Oh, all _right_. You take the other bed then. 

(Madam Pomfrey indicates that Harry should move over to the bed that Draco had been in earlier; Draco is now standing by the bedside.) 

Madam Pomfrey: [to Ron] All right then, you go take the bed that Mr. Potter here was in earlier. 

Draco: [coughs] 

Harry: [opens mouth to say something, glances at Madam Pomfrey, then changes his mind and snaps his mouth shut again] 

Draco: [stifles a snicker] 

Ron: [looks faintly suspicious] 

(Ron sits down on the bed as Madam Pomfrey exits the room again.) 

Draco: Weasley. You may not want to get _too_ comfortable in that bed. 

Ron: [preparing to get into the bed] And why not? 

Harry: [flushes slightly] 

Draco: I was in that bed too... 

Ron: [blinks] 

Draco: ...and I wasn't alone. [smirks] 

Harry: [now blushing furiously] 

Ron: [looks from Harry to Draco and back again with the dawning of horrified realisation] You mean...you two...in _here_...in...this bed?!? 

Draco: [grins unrepentantly] 

Harry: [looks apologetic] We couldn't say anything while Madam Pomfrey was in here... 

Ron: Eeewww! [jumps off the bed, looking rather ill] I'm going to take a long, *long* bath. Right NOW. [departs hurriedly from the infirmary] 

Draco: Hmph. The bed was still _clean_. 

Harry: It's the thought that counts. [makes a face] Poor Ron. 

Pansy: [still unconscious] Drakkie-pooooo... 

Draco: [shudders and sidles behind Harry, glaring at Pansy's prone form] 

Harry: Aww, don't worry, *Drakkie-poo*. I'll protect you from the nasty, evil Pansy Parkinson. [snickers] 

Draco: Har, har. [smacks Harry]   
  
  
  


**[1]** Refers to the Love Potion Pansy tried to use on Draco (with spectacularly unsuccessful results!) in the previous chapter.   
  
  
  


C&C loved! ^^ And I just wanted to thank all my reviewers...*hugs* ^^   
TBC...haven't really decided what the next chapter will be yet...hee.   
  



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